13 Sept., 2020

Coveting this

Moona. The radiator for your pillow. If it works as advertised, it will keep your pillow as cold as 64°F all night. You can actually pick the temperature using the app– anywhere between 64-95°F.

Mind you, I don’t have one; it could be a prime piece of quackery. But I want the idea of one really, really badly. It costs $399, and I can’t decide whether that’s too much to gamble on the chance that this really does work. And for the record, I am not advertising it, just discussing the idea of it.

Wouldn’t it be wonderful if this did work? I wish I knew for sure. I wish it cost just a little less– something worth risking on the chance that it doesn’t work.

It seems to good to be true– my pillow always on the cold side– it’s eating your cake and having it too– no more waking up throughout the night to flip the pillow over. Of the seven or eight times I wake up during the night, one or two are to pee, but at least three are because my face is hot. If I could eliminate those, I might get longer blocks of sleep– three hours at a time, instead of 90 minutes.

That would be well worth $399. Plus whatever it costs for shipping.

It claims a 30-day trial, and a 1-year guarantee, but if I’m skeptical of it working in the first place, why would I believe they honor their warranty?

Maybe I can figure out some way to have $399 to risk. I have all my mother’s jewelry, save for few pieces I gave to my cousins and my sister-in-law, and I never wear jewelry; really, never. It’s just taking up space– not a lot of space, but it’s just going to be sold when I die anyway, so maybe I should get the benefit myself.

And it’s possible this thing works– in principle, it works– it’s not a perpetual motion machine, it’s a water-cooling radiator. It’s not any different from the radiator in my car, and that’s old technology– Karl Benz invented it over 100 years ago. Even if the app failed, if the pump and fan worked, it would still keep the pillow cool.

There appears to be a two-week turnover time, so even if I were to order it today, it wouldn’t come until Sukkot. Well, I don’t have any plans at this point to be sleeping in any shanties under schach, albeit, with my luck, we would have the warmest Sukkot of my life if I did.

A few years ago, it was freezing during Sukkot, and I slept out in a sukkah, and considering it was me, slept very well. That was actually how I figured out that keeping the room extra-cold was one thing that helped me sleep better.

This would be a great way to start the new year.

Yes, I want one. I really want one.

Published by Chava Freya

Insomnia is a brain-based disorder I’ve had since I was at least 16 years old. Anti-anxiety medicine doesn’t help, except when there’s external anxiety exacerbating the problem. Sleep hygiene is irrelevant, because it’s not the problem, although I have submitted to it five different times, including having sleep specialists actually come to my home and advise me on rearranging furniture, buying special pillows, forbidding TVs in the bedroom, telling me the bed was for nothing but sleep, sex and reading, and when that didn’t work, then nothing but sleep. Period. That was the biggest failure of all.

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