Sometimes I really wish street drugs made me feel good. They don’t, so I don’t take them; I have always been jealous of people who can get toasted on pot, and shut off their brains.
I cannot power down. I’m describing it like I am, because that’s my subjective experience, but I know there are a lot of people who would call it a lack of willpower. “Turn off the light, lie down, go to sleep.” But I can’t.
Synesthesia sucks. Even numbers are weak. Odd numbers are strong. Yellow is weak, so most of the even numbers are yellow. Red it the strongest color– but a little too strong– it teeters into cruelty. Blue, on the other hand, is heroic: strong, but kind, so, of course, my favorite color. An experience for me can be ruined by not getting the blue whatever.